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+all at once the ghosts came back+ [20 Sep 2004|12:09pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i havent updated this journal in a long time, but i kinda miss it.

if anyone still reads this, let me know?

7 cold heartswe can never go home

[22 Apr 2004|09:22am]
hi.
1 cold heartwe can never go home

stole this from kendall :) [27 Feb 2004|09:11am]
[ mood | okay ]

dear ariel,

you are really _____. you should _____. we need to go _____. after that we can _____. remember that time we _____? that was real _____. maybe tomorrow we can _____. you are my _____. i _____ you!

signed your _____,
_____

p.s. _____.

9 cold heartswe can never go home

Could you and your swollen ego fit into my master plan for failure? [26 Feb 2004|11:00am]
[ mood | busy ]

My first 2 hours of driving went surprisingly well! although i think i had a problem with speeding..but my instructor, lindsey, said it was ok. I'm definetly looking forward to doing my next 2 hours - Friday right after school :)

after driving paul took me tanning - and there was this stupid bitch that wudnt leave me alone. usually whoever i go with comes into the room with me and just sits there and talks to me while im in the little tanning bed and its never been a problem before, but the dumb little cunt working there at night wudnt stop yelling.
in conclusion - i wont be going tanning at night nemore, just after school when im allowed to have people go in with me.

I tried to watch the talented mr. rippley with my dad but I fell asleep. :(

Today after school doesnt look fun..
+staying after for geometry extra help.
+therapy at 3.45
+getting my nails fixed at 4.15 if i can leave therapy early.
+studddyyy hella for geometry test tomorrow.
Only Fun Part
+go visit paul at planet smoothie.

I think the only way that i can be remotely happy is by staying busy. I cant just sit still because then all i do is eat and sleep.



I hate lab
we can never go home

.This place is a prison.And these people aren't your friends.Inhaling thrills through $20 bills. [24 Feb 2004|07:52am]
[ mood | crappy ]

yesterday sucked. but started out okay.
+went to pauls house after school
+went tanning
+went to the library only to discover you can rent awesome videos for free!
+did most of my homework
+Somehow managed to delete 302 songs from my shared folder.
+got in an extreme arguement before sleeping.
+i want to go back to sleep.



I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?
2 cold heartswe can never go home

[23 Feb 2004|09:11am]
[ mood | tired ]

Words have no feeling without loaded meanings
Words take too long to come across
Meanings are meant for defining defintions
We load them for efect, it's cheap but it's working

It's the best I've got to get your attention
I could never get your attention
I could never please you
The verses are wasted on words you won't relate to
On words you'll never hear

It's not working -- I don't feel any better
I don't feel so well
The verbal breakdown has failed
So I'm whispering secrets
Hush, hush, on the loudspeaker
Words sculpted on verse become absurd

But it's the best I've got to get your attention
I could never get your attention
I could never please you
Words so sympathetic -- symphonic, yet pathetic -- are tossed on to the song

The meaning is lost...
The meaning is lost...

Words... just... won't... work...
Words... are... slowly demeaning their meanings
Words... make... things... worse
Words... are... always repeating
Losing their meaning
These words failed
Words fail
we can never go home

somebody say my name so i know i'm alive [20 Feb 2004|10:28am]
[ mood | blah ]

+its friday.
+this is the first week that ive been to school everyday..and havent been late. :)
+i dont know why im not with paul anymore. he treats me real well and no one else seems to care about me nearly as much as he does.
+i love kendall. she wrote me a card to cheer me up. <33 hopefully saturday we'll be in newyork going to that show with her new love interest..im excited.
+today- i have an idea as to what im going to do.

I didnt know who would be there for me, and ive been surprised at who has been. But more so ive been surprised at who hasnt been.



Do your feet burn? From walking on those bridges that you've burned
Fake disguise, it's really no surprise
I can't make this deal with the devil because I know
He's on your side He's on your side
Sitting and waiting for you to show your face again
Wondering which mask you put on for me today
I never know what to expect so I'll expect the worst
And I know you won't let me down
You won't let me down
The best thing you can do is leave
Take your evil ways elsewhere
Now, even though you're gone
You've left your mark
Just like a gunshot wound
In time it will heal
But the scar it will remain
2 cold heartswe can never go home

"scratch my back and I will stab you in yours" [18 Feb 2004|11:17am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

it's definetly been a long time since i've posted in this journal..

+ i passed my permit test yesterday. :) made appts for the 6hrs.
+ i made it to work on time and was told how wonderful i am doing there :)
+ one of my nails fell off. :(
+ the week is halfway over and im excited because school is gay.
+ rocked the shit outta my history test.

4 cold heartswe can never go home

[16 Oct 2003|06:14pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

fucking make a greatestjournal
or i will KILL you
greatestjournal.com
suck a mother fuckin d

i love you

5 cold heartswe can never go home

new journallll [15 Oct 2003|10:55am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

everyone get a greatestjournal.
theyre phat and they host pictures so no gay fotki.

my new journal - greatestjournal.com/users/eradico

xoxo

we can never go home

[14 Oct 2003|09:12am]
[ mood | chipper ]

this weekend was funnn.
friday night was spent in a sketchy bedroom with random people. i did a summersault off of the bed onto a chair. i also experienced the joy of listening to a dial tone for 37 minutes.
The Yellow Sumbmarine - something everyone should view at least once.
me and tanya hit up every establishment that offers food in chester. it was crazy.
saturday - me and paul accompanyed my parents to their friends house to have some hardcore Jewish food. it was sooo goooood. if anyone knows how to make any kind of Jewish food, tell me how because i want some. NOW.
sunday-me and paul drove around places. we went and got pumkins. so much fun. we got kfc. the number 4+4 is hella good. we looked at a car i want. ahhh i love that boy <333
monday i did nothing. slept a lot. paul came over for a little. we watched 101 dalmations. such a sad movie if uve lost a dalmation. :(
i got a 106 on my history test. phattt.
MY BIRTHDAY IS ON THURSDAY. :) :)
i love you all im in a very good mood and eating skittles.

2 cold heartswe can never go home

[09 Oct 2003|05:48pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

mmm i hella hooked up my journal with a background.

i still dont know how to get just one background picture and just the updates to scroll. if anyone knows how to do that...help me..please!!!!
me and greg made a nice one during computers but villagephotos fucking sucks and wont host a photo for too long..thats why none of my pics are working right now.
ahh the problems.

i had detention today for being late to school 4 times. so gay.
i brought vegas to therapy. i love my therapist we have such a good relationship.

paul got his lisence omfg hes so cute sitting behind the wheel. i made him drive me around my block like 9 times. his moms car is so hott. this weekends guna be a lot of funnnn <3333

samone sonia and vanessa's pumpkin party on sunday..someone give me more information??

6 cold heartswe can never go home

pretty fucking pictures [06 Oct 2003|06:11pm]
[ mood | bored ]




sunday afternoon


the prettiest fucking hibiscus and its on my deck cunt.

13 cold heartswe can never go home

i cud give u 7new reasons not to smoke pot [05 Oct 2003|10:18pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

today was alright. woke up went to wallmart, bought some beads and some fabric to make shirts...an extra extra pretty one for sonia!! <3
came home painted shelves, then paul came over. we watched fast time at ridgemont high. i reccomend it its silly. then i watched confessions of a dangerous mind..its confusing but very good.

more and more people r doing drugs and complaining about stuff.
'we were stoned and forgot the condom'

i made paul a journal...i feel accomplished.

its like tanya disappeared. i called her a lot today i duno where she went.

ive been talking to adam a little bit lately and i duno if its a good idea. none of my friends like him and they seem to know a lot.

im tired. adios.

9 cold heartswe can never go home

[04 Oct 2003|01:35pm]
[ mood | creative ]

does anybody have a code i cud give to my boyfriend so he cud make a journal???!??
i wud greatly greatly appreciate it!!!!!!!!
<333

3 cold heartswe can never go home

[04 Oct 2003|10:13am]
[ mood | groggy ]

i am officially a nonsmoker. the last time i had a cigarette was sept. 8 and i had 4 that night. i dont exactly remember smoking them due to the fact that i was very messed up. before sept 8, the last time i smoked a cigarette was aug 25. i had one that night mainly because i was nervous because i was going to break into adams house to get my rings back. haha when i snuck into his house a huggggeeee dog tried to eat me - the dog was not supposed to be there.
//anyway the last time i did any form of a drug related substance was aug 25..i smoked opium with tanya.
and the last time i got drunk was sept. 8

err this is a new month. its getting a lot easier to say no. i just avoid the corner before and after skool and when people start to smoke in front of me..i just walk away. its very insensitive of people to smoke around people that r trying to stop. oh well i guess its not their problem and they can do whatever they want.

i woke up this morning to a fucking bloody mouth. it looked like a ate a small rabbit. it was gross.

anats home this weekend from rehab and i really wanted to see her. behh fucking surgery.

xWanna play?x

9 cold heartswe can never go home

pictures with my bestttt friendsssss!!!!! [03 Oct 2003|08:23pm]
[ mood | loved ]



me rocking out hardcore.



connor like whoa.



tanya is sexx!!!! <33



me looking hot in the morning



oh baby



touch meee

//

so i got surgery today and im doing ok. paul and tanya and connor came over today to help me feel better. paul left after an hour because hes grounded :(
tanya left after a couple hours to go to chester and stoners party :(
connors still here :) :) <3333333

9 cold heartswe can never go home

kiss me [01 Oct 2003|07:04pm]
[ mood | content ]



I dont usually post a lot of pictures of myself...so there u go for your enjoyment...fuckers.
<3

7 cold heartswe can never go home

..the perfect square.. [01 Oct 2003|07:51am]
[ mood | cold ]

so apparently im a garden knome and no matter how many stones are thrown at me, i just dont move.

no see, i look at it like this...im not weak.
u can keep saying shit to me, but it wont effect me, because im stronger than that.
when something really hurts me, ill let u know, or ill get through it on my own..because ive learned that talking to people most of the time gets u nowhere. theyre too consumed with their own shit.
so let me be a knome.

I <3 tanya. and im sorry for everything. no matter how many fights we may get in, youll always be my best friend.

3 cold heartswe can never go home

bahhh [30 Sep 2003|11:09am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

you look like you walked straight out of hot topic.
the dickies. the 80s toys t-shirt. the studded belt. the chucks..and their black and have those lame shoe laces. the studs around ur neck.
be fucking original//you sit there and rant and rave about 'dumb preppies' all looking the same and you cant tell them apart. you're beginning to fade more into the trendy noncomformist conformist hot topic shopper.

Buy a Trend!!! On sale for only 40 bucks!!!

Then you sit around not giving me the time of day when I ask you a simple fucking question. and you tell a kid who you say is your best friend, to slit their writs harder and kill themselves. How can you be so insensitive and callous? Just last week you were telling him you loved him.
Grow up.

27 cold heartswe can never go home

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